When I first came out of the closet, I was not good at it.

When I first came out of the closet, I was not good at it. I didn’t have people to go out with, I was clumsy talking to guys and I was clueless what to do with one once I got a couple words in. Because of this deficit, I would meet people that felt I needed a big brother for the night but not a friend for the long haul. This meant that I would inevitably meet people while I was out but they were usually visiting and once they had left to their respective cities, I would be the lonely gay among the straights by myself in Las Vegas. This is not saying anything negatively though about the straights in my life. You are my family and nothing will compare to the relentless nights you’d spend with me at the gay bars until I’d either get to drunk to be there or meet some guy we could drag with us to the straight clubs.

Eventually though, through the miracle of chat rooms, I met someone I could actually go out with, who was gay, and I wasn’t planning on sleeping with. We will call him Greg, with one G, and we always had a blast together. He was a great introduction to the city. Kind of a loaner, he wasn’t creepy and Greg managed to know the right people at the right restaurants so we were already half in the bag by the time we got to the bars. He was one of those people that pop in for a moment in your life, just a moment, have a huge purpose, and are gone just as quick as they arrived. That was Greg and he was able to get me rolling on my gay training wheels perfectly until that right person came along, pushed me down off my Rainbow Bright gay bike into the grass and screamed “I’m going to take those training wheels off and beat you with them if you don’t take them off yourself”

Greg was the original one who introduced me to trashy gay bars. I can’t help it, but I love them. They always happen to be more fun, the people there are always so much more fun to talk to, and the learning experience is by far heightened in comparison to how cheap the drinks are. Well, on this one particular night, Greg and I decided to meet up at the Spotlight. We were into our drinks and before you know it, I’ve got a couple of guys from Seattle who are talking to me, buying me drinks and quickly acting as if they’re my big brothers. I was like the petting zoo for them. “We’ll help out this new gay boy tonight”

I was loving the attention and Greg was tired so he went home and I hung out with the two men from Seattle who were giving buying me drinks and introducing me to hot men. The time was approaching 4 a.m. and I had to work before noon the next day so I was attempting to finish my drink and get home before the sun came up and then BAM!! He walked in the bar and my eyes were uncontrollably drawn to him. One of the Seattle guys caught this and immediately followed by,” You like him? Let’s go say hi” and before I knew it, I was face to face with this cute, short dark hair, strong spoken East Coaster.

“Hey, I’m Gregg. I just moved here from WI”

“Really? I just moved here too. I’m Matt” and then PUSH. I’m in the grass with my bike on its side. I had met that person, a huge influence on how the rest of my life would be and the person who would threaten my life with my training wheels.

Really right now

So, it is Wednesday already. I don't know where I was going after that but that's what day it is if you haven't heard yet. Tomorrow is census day and if you haven't sent in your form yet, you probably should get that in. I haven't sent it in yet, but I will. It's on my list of stuff to get done still tonight. I don't see why all the pressure this year compared to the 2000 census. I really don't remember that one or if I even had to fill anything out. Actually, I was still living in the dorms so I know I didn't fill it out. Still though, the push on this is so unbelievable. Threats that a federal employee will make a visit to my house if it isn't filled out is a little bit ludicrous if I must say. Needless to say though, my paper will be filled out and it will be sent out with the rest of my mail tomorrow morning.
As for the rest of the day, I am sitting at Barnes n Noble at he Grove just hanging out doing a little writing before the sun goes down. I love coming to this location at this time of day. It is a little unsettling being in a mall, BUT,from where I am sitting, I get to watch the sun set from the reflections of the homes in the Hollywood Hills. With the sunlight, the Palm trees and the blue sky, it is the best reminder of why I live in Southern California.
I'm probably going to add a sample of "I have 3 kinds of hiccups" tonight, so I'll leave this post with an article from the New York Times today. I really got a good laugh from it. Hopefully you will too.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/31/opinion/31dowd.html?ref=todayspaper

Should I go talk to him? He's really cute.

“Should I go talk to him? He’s really cute. What do you think?” Our bus goes through another light and we are even closer to our stop. “Ok, I’m gonna go talk to him, but what should I say?” We pass through another light and are so close to our stop. “Ok, here I go, I’m standing up and going to go talk to him.” I stand my drunk ass up, off the bus seat and force my legs to carry me to this very attractive man and proceed to ask him his name. Not yet causing too much attention to myself, Dina and Christine sat at the back of the bus patiently waiting for the show to begin.
At first it was an innocent “Hi, I’m Gregg” kind of introduction but unfortunately I had been drinking for quite some time that evening and verbal diarrhea began to spill out. I’m not certain of what I said, and I’m confident that it wasn’t offensive or overly baring, but I am sure that it was a bit much more than what this pretty gay man minding his own business wanted from anyone that night. But, as foretold, our bus was quickly approaching our stop and I was instructed very directly by four eyes in the back, that I was to get off at the stop I was supposed to get off at.

As the bus was getting closer to home, those four eyes were having a conversation of their own. “Is he going to get off when we’re supposed to?”

“Yes Christine”

“Are you sure? He seems pretty involved. OK, well, he’ll get off.” Not even ten seconds pass and “I don’t think he has any intention of getting off the bus. He’s not standing up!”

“He’ll get off, don’t worry” Dina repeated and Christine calmed for a moment.

All the while this is happening, I went in for the kill. “Can I get your number?” And, as he said yes, and gave his phone number to me, the bus began to slow down to our stop.
Now, the spectacle that the whole bus would bare witness to was underway and Hermes himself could not send the message faster. Christine got up, screamed “Gregg”, I gave a look, turned back at the hot boy, the bus began to come to the stop, I stood while continuing to put the number in my phone, the doors opened, Christine got out, the doors shut, and I sat back down and continued my conversation like nothing had ever happened. Thinking all attention had been diverted, the bus began to pull away from the stop and all of a sudden with the silence of a great horror film, the entire bus heard “GGGGGRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!” Which was then followed by the chuckling tranny in the back.

I haven't posted in so long....AAAHHHHH

Well, to the few of you that are following me, I'll do a quick catch up and then I promise to have my blog updated much more frequently. For starters, I'll begin talking about an amazing interview that I heard on Saturday the 20th. It was on NPR's weekend edition and it was with Kathleen Turner. She is a fantastic woman and I feel that she gives all of herself in everything that she performs in. It is definitely worth a listen so please take 8 minutes and get entertained.
http://http//www.npr.org/search/index.php?searchinput=Kathleen%20Turner


Well, besides that, both jobs have been working me and not me working them. For those of you who haven't heard, Dina and I are now part of the Hot Talk LA family at hottalkla.com. We are so happy and the crew there have welcomed us with open arms. Definitely if you get a chance this week, listen to some of there talent because they are chalker-block full of gigantic, hilarious personality.

In addition to that, I was deathly ill this week, in bed for 85% of it and I am still trying to gain my strength. Getting that sick, well for someone who rarely gets sick, is a huge reminder that I am getting older and still am single. It's not as if I'm gonna marry the next man that smiles at me, but this week definitely shifted some of my priorities; in a good way. Before this illness did happen though, I was challenged to join a singles website with a friend. The challenge is that we are going to go date for date. So far, I am losing pretty badly. I'll change that this week though.

While I was sick this week, I got a chance to catch up on all of my shows and heavens, everyone on Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters are going crazy and you know I love it. I also caught some time hearing what other celebrities were up to. One was Amy Wienhouse tweeted that she wanted to learn how to drive better..... and that she wants a machete. Well is isn't that fantastic. Does she want this weapon for while she is driving?

Something else that has really taking my attention this week has been our political climate between the Republicans and the Democrats in our Congress. Mudslinging isn't even a statement in this. To quote Dina, it's almost as if we are back in true Elizabethan Parliament. All we need is some wigs and a couple FOPS. This article describes it much better than I do.
http://http//www.nytimes.com/2010/03/28/weekinreview/28carey.html?ref=todayspaper

So that will get you pretty much cought up on my life. This week is a turn around week so I'm excited to get it in motion. I'm going to leave this post with two additional things. One is the youtube video with The Dina and Gregg Show's big anouncement and the other is a picture I came accross that I really struck me. Have a great week. If I get a chance today, I'll post another sample of "I Have 3 Kinds of Hiccups"

Dating now compared to 10 years ago

I was just in San Diego for the evening to visit my friend Tara and see her new beautiful baby Isla. I got some great time with her mother last night before she had to fly back to Minnesota today and we began talking about dating; More specifically, online dating. Well today at Tara's apartment with our friend Sheila, we got back into this conversation. After the argument that online dating is a way for generic people to meet each other, I decided that I would put it to the test. I challenged her to go date for date with me. I was going on one website and she was going on another. Our goal out of this was to see which one of us would be able to find someone to go on at least three dates with. This may seem simple but from what I gathered on her experience as well as the experiences of others, three dates could be a large challenge. Sounds even funnier seeing how we are in the 2nd largest city in the nation. Oh Well, here goes.

Besides that, it happens to be Saturday night and I am taking the long way back to LA. I stopped off in San Clemente to just type for a little bit before I continue on to LA. Its just so much easier hiding while on a mini-road trip. Especially that I have no one keeping track of me. Speaking of this...

Last night, I stayed at Khalilah's house and we got into a conversation about if we really did get in to a relationship soon, would we be able to give up our independence. We are both very independent people who rarely need help from people. That is one of the reasons why we became friends so quickly.....

lets now define random writing

Day past 30

So, as you all know, I turned 30 yesterday. We spent a marvolous weekend in Palm Springs. I was so lucky to have the company of two of my best friends, Dina and Alyssa and our friend Levi. We hung around, drank a lot and while we stayed at this gorgeuos 3 bedroom house. If you want to hear more about the weekend, just listen to last nights show at dinaandgreggshow.com.

I just wanted to take a moment to put up the website of the place we had dinner on Saturday night. It is definitely one of the "have to" places to eat in Palm Springs. Thank you Tony and the rest of the staff there for treating us so well.

As for now, good night. I'll have more to say tomorrow.

http://www.triopalmsprings.com/

2 days before 30

This isn't going to be anything to terrific, just a moment to acknowledge whats going on in my life. Today we are headed to Palm Springs to stay in a house for the weekend and just relax and take in the sights.

When I turned 20, I was running around the entire state of WI because so much was going on that I had no time to acknowledge that it was my birthday. My grandfather was ill and wasn't going to be with us much longer. I had an audition for Disney that same day that was 3 hours away and wouldn't even make it back to campus at my college until 9pm. There was no time in this day to acknowledge me. This feeling has spread through the last ten years. Not as severe, but is has still been there.

As I turn 30, I want to take a moment to just relax, make it about me, love myself more and focus on what I want out of my life in the next 10 years. This in not something that I should be ashamed of, but something to celebrate and love as my own. Great things have been happening lately more than ever. Things have been happening with more ease than I have ever noticed also. To a point where it is ever a bit scary. This is amazing and will just continue to happen. I believe this and completely trust in it. Everything that I've ever wanted out of life is happening and will thrive as long as I trust in it.

Have a wonderful day everyone. I'll keep you posted on all to come.