Life isn’t always the space you take up.

Life isn’t always the space you take up. Much of the time, it’s the space you take up with others. When I first started hanging out with Regan that is exactly how it began. I was new to UNLV, and I was put in with a beginning class of freshman in order to make it into the theatre performance concentration. This was exceptionally hard for me because I was 22, going on 23 and had come so far in my maturity so fast that being submersed with a bunch of 18 year olds felt like complete emotional back peddling. How was I to know that when my time was finished at UNLV, some of these youngsters would be closer to me than some of my friends back in WI? One of these people would be a confidant for the rest of my life, no matter how long we go without talking.

When I officially transferred to UNLV, I was still living with the beautiful Helena and her daughter way out of town in North Las Vegas. This meant that when I wasn’t working, or wasn’t in school, I was hanging out somewhere in North Las Vegas. One of my favorite spots was the Borders at the corner of Rainbow and Lake Mead. I would sit there for hours, writing, reading, talking to strangers. One night though, as I was walking to my car, I heard my name and it baffled me that someone would know who I was way out here. I turned around and I looked at this cute, dark haired, very white skinned girl that I honestly had no idea who she was. She introduced herself and told me that we were in the same class. I acted as if I then knew who she was, said it was nice to meet her, turned around, and speed walked to my car.

Thankfully the next day Regan did not have any opinion on how I left her introduction and we then began our friendship. She had grown up in Vegas so she began to introduce me to other people in the department among other people who were attending UNLV. This made things go really easy for the release into my new surroundings. I’m not sure she knows that she helped my transition like that, even before we had a full conversation. At the end of that day, we made plans to meet back at Borders, at the corner of Rainbow and Lake Mead where we would talk with coffee.

I find it so funny that the best dates that I have ever had are with my friends whom are rooted into my life. I remind myself every time I talk about those people in my life, and how every time I’ve met one of them, it has been impactful: Simple but impactful and very much full of substance. That is how the encounter at Borders was with Regan that night: Simple, impactful and full of substance. A great first date for anyone, no matter what sex or sexual orientation.

That year Regan and I were joined at the hip. We talked for hours every day, went through bottles of wine, and grew as adults and it happened that we were two individuals who really needed each other at that time. We even have the best memento of that year. A random picture was taken of us, on a plain, unimportant ordinary day. This picture ended up as the cover of the UNLV school directory for the following school year. It is so odd, being just a random moment, at how much meaning this snap shot has. As in the Tori Amos song, A Sorta Fairytale,

“And I knew then it would
be a life long thing
but I didn't know that we
we could break a silver lining”

That is exactly how I felt that year hanging out, growing and having so much fun with Regan. A few years ago I was witness to the amazing wedding ceremony between Regan and our friend Cody. That day, as well as every time her and I talk, I still have that feeling. With her, as well as other beautiful people in my life, it isn’t the space I take up by myself, but the space I take up when these people are in it with me.

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